Saturday, January 5, 2019

31 Days To Self Love: Day 5

original challenge: Blessing Manifesting


The things I say I'm going to do. Seems simple right?

I'm a dreamer. I always have been. On any given idle Tuesday you can find me with my hair swept up, curled up on the couch with a soft blanket, staring off into the abyss of my thoughts. I dream about what could have been, what should be now, and what might be. I set goals, plans, ideas, and plans for myself -- but struggle to say YES! to them. I struggle to follow through with what I say. Part of this is a lack of self-discipline which is something I have issues with. Another part is lack of confidence in being able to do the thing. I have this dream of becoming a yoga teacher. I specifically would like to teach those with nontraditional bodies or those with disabilities. I can see myself teaching, I can see the studio I would own. But even in my own yoga practice I battle with self doubt. I find myself not being "thin" enough (comical for someone who has the heart to teach non-traditional yogi bodies), not "spiritual enough" (Seriously, sometimes when I meditate, i'm thinking more about the decor in my meditation space then what the intention i'm working on is....), or just too shy (I am terrified to have attention on me --- yet I'm going to TEACH?!)

Instead of saying yes to the things in my heart, I come up with reasons for no. Why do I do that? How can I counteract my immediate response to think of why I couldn't .... with reasons I can?

So I guess ultimately the thing I need to say yes to the most is myself. Yes to me. Yes to my dreams. Yes to my goals. Yes to the tedious task i promised myself i'd do as well as the mountains I long to climb. Yes i can. (I think.)


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