Well, lets not start off easy...geesh! Haha. Okay so with these 31 days questions, i think I am going to take an unedited approach. First thing that comes to mind without much consideration for who is reading this or what someone may think, which is a major issue of mine.
I think my biggest struggle with loving myself is the constant and overwhelming feeling that I don't matter. I put so many people on pedestals because their joy, anger, grief, love, happiness seems more important to me then my own. I think deep down inside i find myself disappointing, weak, and overall less than.
Maybe this is why i'm sorta obsessed in my kids having positive self talk.
Not mattering is a learned behavior. And while i've had partners in the past that participated in continuing the lie -- ultimately I think I learned that I didn't matter as a child. I have childhood trauma that has taught me so much, and it's really hard to unlearn those things.
This is actually a huge topic in therapy right now, (yep, i'm in therapy), feeling less then. Why is Ashlee not taking care of, protecting, loving, Ashlee?
No comments:
Post a Comment