31 Days To Self Love: Day 27

original challenge: Blessing Manifesting

Meditation. That's easy. I've been meditating every day --- and yoga most days. I am excited to share it with you. Keep a look out for a future post. But seriously meditation centers me, It brings me within, it gives me courage and strength. I get done with a great meditation session and I feel different. I don't feel a surge in energy like I could take on the world, I don't feel completely drained either. I just feel like, I got this. I don't know what "this" is on a day to day basis. But I know I got it. And what I don't got, I know I can give up to God and let go and let life unfold as it should, and as it always does.

Dear Future Ashlee,

You are welcome for all those hours of intentionally putting yourself first to meditate, to shower, to say no. It wasn't easy. It was hella hard. I know the benefits will be outstanding.


Ash

31 Days To Self Love: Day 26

original challenge: Blessing Manifesting

My shadow self? I've never heard that term before, but I imagine it's the part of me hidden in the shadows -- the parts of me I don't share with the world --- and am slow to show to even those closest to me.

The shadow Ashlee.

She has a lot of ideas floating through her head. She thinks about things constantly, and even to her closest circle shares only a few. She loves nothing more than to sit face to face with someone and talk. Not about the weather, but about what is weathering her. She loves to get deep, unpopular, intimate, awkward, and complex.

The parts of her I'm ashamed of?

That's easy. The hiding of all those parts. That I don't give people the chance to know her.

that's what I'm most ashamed of.  I'm ashamed of being ashamed of who I am.

That's what I want most. To be me. Unapologetically. And see what happens. See how my life can transform. See how those who love me -- how they adjust. To be surprised by those who love the shadowy bits and hurt by those who can't appreciate her.

31 Days To Self Love: Day 25

original challenge: Blessing Manifesting

My daughter Aurora who is 7 going on Dalai-Llama-Wisdom says that we all have gifts. Everyone in the world is really good at something. She says I'm good at momming, daddy is good at fixing things, Liam is good at telling jokes, and Charlotte is good at getting into trouble. She says her gift is loving people. I love that she recognizes that as her most important gift. She has a way with her heart that I recognize. A part of her that looks up at you all doe-y eyed with all the love mustered up in the world -- just wanting to love.

I recognize that in her because it's in me too. I think that's what I'm really good at. I'm good at taking the parts of me that bring good in the world at share it with my babies. The future world changers <3

31 Days To Self Love: Day 24

original challenge: Blessing Manifesting

Words Words Words
I'm so sick of words
I get words all day through
First from him, now from you
Is that all you blighters can do

Don't talk of stars
Burning above
If you're in love
Show me

Tell me no dreams
Filled with desire
If you're on fire
Show me

He we are together
In the middle of the night
Don't talk of spring
Just hold me tight

Anyone who's ever been
In love'll tell you that
This is no time
For a chat

Haven't your lips
Longed for my touch
Don't say how much
Show me, show me

Don't talk of love

Lasting through time
Make me no undying vow
Show me now

Sing me no song
Read me no rhyme
Don't waste my time
Show me

Don't talk of June
Don't talk of fall
Don't talk at all
Show me

Never do I ever
want to hear another word
There isn't one
I haven't heard

Here we are together in
What ought to be a dream
Say another word
And I'll scream

Haven't your arms
Hungered for mine
Please don't explain
Show me, show me

31 Days To Self Love: Day 23

original challenge: Blessing Manifesting

My mom is my biggest fan. That I know for sure.

I have friends who love me. Some closely and intently, and some from a distance.

I had a partner who was that person before. He's not that person now.

I need support and... I need to interject so of it on my own.

31 Days To Self Love: Day 22

original challenge: Blessing Manifesting

I think lately, the thing that makes me feel the worst, yet I continue to engage in is toxic discussions and relationships. Having the get that thought it on not leave a text unanswered.  I feel this need to put myself in what I know to be a difficult and potentially painful situation.

I don't want to let go. I'm not ready to let go. And now after what happened, I must.

It wasn't until today --- (1/24) that I felt the weight of the heartbreak. It wasn't until today. I am in a million pieces on the floor and there is nowhere safe to step without being cut.

31 Days To Self Love: Day 21

original challenge: Blessing Manifesting

Peace.

I haven't found it yet. I'm searching, I promise.