Sweep That Shit Under The Rug

She said "You attract what you fear"
and I knew she was right
I've been afraid of living exposed
Been afraid most of my life

He said, "Honey you have to choose"
between this life and the next
That's when my old friend - Fear
placed his hands around my neck

It didn't hurt much anymore
It's pain I've grown accustomed to
My shaking hands, my racing heart
All symptoms that aren't new

I'll pop a pill, offer a shrug
And sweep that shit under the rug
Under the rug where things go to die
A safe place to keep my lies

One lie answers, "How are you?"
Another, "Are you okay?"
A third, my usual response
"Great", "Of Course!" I say.

I haven't been great in a while
Not in the way I crave
He hasn't seen that loving smile
In years and months and days

I've been afraid of living exposed
Been afraid most of my life
what if this woman that he seeks
He simply cannot find

What if I'm she and she is me
both one in the same
What if this person that we are
Simply can't be tamed

I'm not saying that I can or can't
I'm not saying that I won't
I'm simply outlining the facts
that I truly do not know

I don't know if this life (or the next)
Can save me from my fear
All I can offer is a promise
To try like hell while I'm here.

I'll try to outrun my friend fear
I'll try to find that laugh
I'll try to step into the light
I'll try to shed a mask

He says "There is no try -- just do"
And I suppose he's right --
So I'll do me --set myself free
And fight with all my might.