There's no shadow You won't light up
Mountain You won't climb up
Coming after me
There's no wall You won't kick down
Lie You won't tear down
Coming after me
🙏✝️
Sunday, February 24, 2019
Reckless love
Tuesday, February 19, 2019
Actually, not too well
I'm actually not well at all.
Not even a little bit.
What do you do when the most harmful thing in your life is yourself?
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She looked back at me with coal grey eyes
But I had to do the wash.
She looked back at me with coal grey eyes
So I busied myself with other things.
Things to keep idle hands moving
Things that camouflage the shake in my hand
People to call
Bills to pay
A reflection to avoid.
Not even a little bit.
What do you do when the most harmful thing in your life is yourself?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
She looked back at me with coal grey eyes
But I had to do the wash.
She looked back at me with coal grey eyes
So I busied myself with other things.
Things to keep idle hands moving
Things that camouflage the shake in my hand
People to call
Bills to pay
A reflection to avoid.
Monday, February 18, 2019
i have a dream.
I don't know if I can complete this by the end of 2019. But I know I can work towards the goal.
I would like to self-publish a beautiful poetry and photography book. A book that showcases both of my talents.
I am working on building up my body of work of poetry first. I know nothing about self publishing, but I know that the sense of accomplishment would be amazing.
thoughts?
I would like to self-publish a beautiful poetry and photography book. A book that showcases both of my talents.
I am working on building up my body of work of poetry first. I know nothing about self publishing, but I know that the sense of accomplishment would be amazing.
thoughts?
Actually Ashlee Moving Forward
Moving forward I would like to blog as close to daily as possible. This is my personal blog, and I'd like to keep it that way.
I'm really interested in a business blog but I'm not sure what area I would be best to give information in. It's just tumbling in the back of my mind.
But Actually Ashlee, is all about my journey back to myself.
Please stay tuned, I would like to share more and I love the support.
I'm really interested in a business blog but I'm not sure what area I would be best to give information in. It's just tumbling in the back of my mind.
But Actually Ashlee, is all about my journey back to myself.
Please stay tuned, I would like to share more and I love the support.
31 Days To Self Love: Day 31
original challenge: Blessing Manifesting
I guess to answer this prompt I need to consider areas and ways in which I can love myself.
Physical:
Physical movement is a way that I can show myself love but also a way I'm quick to give up on. I'm not even really talking about an exercise program. I've done that before. I have been a 2-a-day gym rat, but my motivation was never self love. It was self image, others opinions of me, or preparing for an event.
I want to wake in the morning and be on my feet. I want to move, stretch, and care for my body in this way. This can include Yoga, walks with Ellie, and keeping busy.
Mental: My mental health needs to be a high priority in my life. I can show myself self-love by committing to take my medicine daily and on time. To work through the process with my therapist. To practice positive mantras and repeat them out loud to myself. My mental health can be improved by lowering my stress levels. In order to lower stress levels I think I need to be aware of my actions and how they could result in higher stress. I need to not allow others to bring unnecessary stress in my life. I need to speak my truth and move forward. I'm aware this may mean cutting people from my life, or putting their level of importance to a different category.
Emotional: This is tricky. I want to nourish my emotional health enough to become healthy again. Right now it's pretty closed off. Not entirely, but there are definitely boundaries and walls which are hard to breech.
Emotions and Mental health tie a lot into each other. I know I need to nurture and love myself in order to come to an emotionally sound place. I also think i need to really focus on talking through thoughts, feelings, and problems I'm encountering. I need to support myself, and allow others to support me.
Spiritual: One way that I show myself love is by attending church each week. Worshiping God makes me feel full of love. Prayer is another. I like to read christian walk books as well which I find helps keep me in that state of love.
Breakdown of Goals:
1. Movement: 10,000 steps a day. Walk Ellie 4x/week. Yoga 3x/week.
2. Mental: Do my weekly homework from Dorcas. Have a mantra I recite every day for a week. Speak my truth, even if my voice shakes. Consistent on meds DAILY.
3. Emotional: Express feelings WHEN I feel them. Do NOT apologize for having those feelings. Remind myself that I have the tools I need inside of me to be who I want inside and out.
4.Spiritual: Attend church weekly. Begin day with worship music. Pray daily.
Physical:
Physical movement is a way that I can show myself love but also a way I'm quick to give up on. I'm not even really talking about an exercise program. I've done that before. I have been a 2-a-day gym rat, but my motivation was never self love. It was self image, others opinions of me, or preparing for an event.
I want to wake in the morning and be on my feet. I want to move, stretch, and care for my body in this way. This can include Yoga, walks with Ellie, and keeping busy.
Mental: My mental health needs to be a high priority in my life. I can show myself self-love by committing to take my medicine daily and on time. To work through the process with my therapist. To practice positive mantras and repeat them out loud to myself. My mental health can be improved by lowering my stress levels. In order to lower stress levels I think I need to be aware of my actions and how they could result in higher stress. I need to not allow others to bring unnecessary stress in my life. I need to speak my truth and move forward. I'm aware this may mean cutting people from my life, or putting their level of importance to a different category.
Emotional: This is tricky. I want to nourish my emotional health enough to become healthy again. Right now it's pretty closed off. Not entirely, but there are definitely boundaries and walls which are hard to breech.
Emotions and Mental health tie a lot into each other. I know I need to nurture and love myself in order to come to an emotionally sound place. I also think i need to really focus on talking through thoughts, feelings, and problems I'm encountering. I need to support myself, and allow others to support me.
Spiritual: One way that I show myself love is by attending church each week. Worshiping God makes me feel full of love. Prayer is another. I like to read christian walk books as well which I find helps keep me in that state of love.
Breakdown of Goals:
1. Movement: 10,000 steps a day. Walk Ellie 4x/week. Yoga 3x/week.
2. Mental: Do my weekly homework from Dorcas. Have a mantra I recite every day for a week. Speak my truth, even if my voice shakes. Consistent on meds DAILY.
3. Emotional: Express feelings WHEN I feel them. Do NOT apologize for having those feelings. Remind myself that I have the tools I need inside of me to be who I want inside and out.
4.Spiritual: Attend church weekly. Begin day with worship music. Pray daily.
31 Days To Self Love: Day 30
original challenge: Blessing Manifesting
oh the labels. This isn't going to be pretty
Wife
Mother
Friend
Ugly
Fat
Unmotivated
Redhead
Creative
Influencer
Coward
Mentally Ill
Failure
Wife
Mother
Friend
Ugly
Fat
Unmotivated
Redhead
Creative
Influencer
Coward
Mentally Ill
Failure
Sunday, February 17, 2019
31 Days To Self Love: Day 29
original challenge: Blessing Manifesting
I'm late in finishing these responses, but I'm going to finish them anyways.
It's not about how well you preform or even how onetime you were right? It's about showing up.
This prompt was sorta easy for me. Only because I've been thinking about this topic on my own for quite some time. I always knew I wanted to get another tattoo soon but I could never quite figure out what i wanted. During my crazy weird life changes going on, I found a song that speaks to me. And i knew the tattoo I had been wanting was right in front of me. It's my mantra.
I'm late in finishing these responses, but I'm going to finish them anyways.
It's not about how well you preform or even how onetime you were right? It's about showing up.
This prompt was sorta easy for me. Only because I've been thinking about this topic on my own for quite some time. I always knew I wanted to get another tattoo soon but I could never quite figure out what i wanted. During my crazy weird life changes going on, I found a song that speaks to me. And i knew the tattoo I had been wanting was right in front of me. It's my mantra.
Calm down
Deep breaths
And get yourself dressed instead
Of running around
And pulling on your threads saying
Breaking yourself up
Deep breaths
And get yourself dressed instead
Of running around
And pulling on your threads saying
Breaking yourself up
If it's a broken part, replace it
If it's a broken arm then brace it
If it's a broken heart then face it
If it's a broken arm then brace it
If it's a broken heart then face it
And hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
Know your name
And go your own way
Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
And everything will be fine
Know your name
And go your own way
And everything will be fine
Hang on
Help is on the way
Stay strong
I'm doing everything
Help is on the way
Stay strong
I'm doing everything
Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
Know your name
And go your own way
Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
Know your name
And go your own way
And everything, everything will be fine
Everything
Everything
Are the details in the fabric
Are the things that make you panic
Are your thoughts results of static cling?
Are the things that make you panic
Are your thoughts results of static cling?
Are the things that make you blow
Hell, no reason, go on and scream
If you're…
Hell, no reason, go on and scream
If you're…
31 Days To Self Love: Day 28
original challenge: Blessing Manifesting
Strong women. I stare at them. I analyze them. I am enamored. I am in awe. I cringe when they say things I don't have nearly enough gumption to say. I know there is one of those deep inside of me. I know because I was raised by one, and she was raised by one, so on and so forth.
I admire people who :
say what they mean.
speak the truth even when their voice shakes
choose joy and positivity
do what they know can't be done because it must
are unapologetically loud and gnarly just because ever fiber of their being tells them they must
vulnerability
Strong women. I stare at them. I analyze them. I am enamored. I am in awe. I cringe when they say things I don't have nearly enough gumption to say. I know there is one of those deep inside of me. I know because I was raised by one, and she was raised by one, so on and so forth.
I admire people who :
say what they mean.
speak the truth even when their voice shakes
choose joy and positivity
do what they know can't be done because it must
are unapologetically loud and gnarly just because ever fiber of their being tells them they must
vulnerability
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